Grief has in many ways helped me change perspective on things that happened and happen in my life. Losing people I love has made me realize where I’m coming from and where I’m going. Losing abilities due to disease has, on good days, given me a mental presence I have never experienced before. With every loss I’ve learned to trust my gut feeling more and more, it has made me better at expressing what I like and dislike. Sharing grief with others has showed me a dimension of compassion and understanding I can use in other aspects of life.
Thank you for sharing this Nicolas. I’m so sorry to hear you’re dealing with loss of abilities. I hear you on how experiencing your own grief has shown you a new dimension of compassion. I always appreciate reading your responses to these essays or to my songs on Patreon. It informs and enriches my life as well.
I find it useful to think of a life at its centre. We may crave stories with happy endings, but in real time all life ends in loss, bodies fail, injustices and unfairness can happen, and plans evaporate while time drives decay. Some eventuality like this is guaranteed. But to look at a life at its centre we can ask; was it vital and generous and did it hold to truth? That is not guaranteed. That is the opportunity at life's centre, and not everyone uses it. To think of someone who plunged into the centre of life and shared it well or lived their truth when they were at their strongest, that is something to encounter in this world. I find it can be a relief to let go of the time-story and its inevitabilities even for a little while, and just hold thoughts of the centre part, the life at its heart.
I want to keep this simple by sharing something I’d saved last year and recently rediscovered. Powerful words and I don’t know who said them - tho I wish it had been me!
“Grief never ends…But it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith…It is the price of love.”
grief taught me a new dimension of understanding other people.
and
1) there will never again be a time without grief 2) it’s seriously the worst 3) i really REALLY know what it feels like to be an adult 4) i’m still who i was as a child, i’ve just been alive longer.
Grief helps to remind me of the things I take for granted. It reminds me to not overlook the good. We don't think about good health until we are grieving an illness. When we lose an opportunity and grieve, we savor the next opportunity we get. Grief can change our future behaviors because we're more aware of what we want to see happen versus an alternative.
Thank you for sharing all of this George. That is a lot to carry and I personally feel like it at least somewhat lightens the load when we can share it with others. The burden accepted with love…. I love that note of sacrifice but of course done.
Grief has in many ways helped me change perspective on things that happened and happen in my life. Losing people I love has made me realize where I’m coming from and where I’m going. Losing abilities due to disease has, on good days, given me a mental presence I have never experienced before. With every loss I’ve learned to trust my gut feeling more and more, it has made me better at expressing what I like and dislike. Sharing grief with others has showed me a dimension of compassion and understanding I can use in other aspects of life.
Thank you for sharing this Nicolas. I’m so sorry to hear you’re dealing with loss of abilities. I hear you on how experiencing your own grief has shown you a new dimension of compassion. I always appreciate reading your responses to these essays or to my songs on Patreon. It informs and enriches my life as well.
I find it useful to think of a life at its centre. We may crave stories with happy endings, but in real time all life ends in loss, bodies fail, injustices and unfairness can happen, and plans evaporate while time drives decay. Some eventuality like this is guaranteed. But to look at a life at its centre we can ask; was it vital and generous and did it hold to truth? That is not guaranteed. That is the opportunity at life's centre, and not everyone uses it. To think of someone who plunged into the centre of life and shared it well or lived their truth when they were at their strongest, that is something to encounter in this world. I find it can be a relief to let go of the time-story and its inevitabilities even for a little while, and just hold thoughts of the centre part, the life at its heart.
Was it vital and generous and did it hold to truth? — I love that. Thank you.
I want to keep this simple by sharing something I’d saved last year and recently rediscovered. Powerful words and I don’t know who said them - tho I wish it had been me!
“Grief never ends…But it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith…It is the price of love.”
Thank you! I love that.
this one found me.
grief taught me a new dimension of understanding other people.
and
1) there will never again be a time without grief 2) it’s seriously the worst 3) i really REALLY know what it feels like to be an adult 4) i’m still who i was as a child, i’ve just been alive longer.
Oof the there will never again be a time without grief. ♥️ thank you for replying.
Grief helps to remind me of the things I take for granted. It reminds me to not overlook the good. We don't think about good health until we are grieving an illness. When we lose an opportunity and grieve, we savor the next opportunity we get. Grief can change our future behaviors because we're more aware of what we want to see happen versus an alternative.
I like that idea that grief can change our future behaviors. Thank you for this.
I’m glad you are clear and healthy now!
Thank you for sharing all of this George. That is a lot to carry and I personally feel like it at least somewhat lightens the load when we can share it with others. The burden accepted with love…. I love that note of sacrifice but of course done.